First the Gulf. Now a Great Lake. Somebody Hide the Sharpie.

We sell shirts about water. We did not sign up to also track federal paperwork about water, but here we are.

Last year it was the Gulf of Mexico. One executive order and the Gulf of America was born, complete with its own holiday. We figured that was a one-time thing — a guy really likes the sound of his country's name, fine, we get it, we named half our catalog after boats and knots.

Then this week, over a trade spat with Canada, Lake Ontario got the same treatment. Effective immediately, by presidential order, it's "Lake America" now. Placards and everything. The order gives Interior 30 days to scrub "Lake Ontario" off federal maps and paperwork. Canada, understandably, is not participating — their officials have made it clear they'll keep calling it Lake Ontario, "now and always," and one premier signed a napkin renaming Lake Michigan "Lake Wisconsin" just to make a point.

And the president himself is already eyeing the rest of the map. Gulf, done. Lake, done. He's floated the Atlantic and the Pacific next, joking that all that's left after a gulf and a lake is an ocean. At Salty Shirts, we've built a whole brand on the idea that the water doesn't care what you call it — it's been doing its thing since before any of us had a name for it, let alone a country. But we'll admit, watching someone work through the entire hydrology textbook one Sharpie stroke at a time is objectively funny.

So while the Board on Geographic Names sorts out the paperwork, we're taking bids on what's next. Erie? Huron? That one pond by the highway? Nothing is safe. We hear the guy's just getting warmed up. Anyway have fun with it. What else can ya do.

Get the shirt. Get off the couch. Get on the water.

— The SS Navigator